JOE KELLY
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Column for 9.14.11
Do you ever read a book for the second time?
With so many books and so little time, it doesn’t make much sense reading a book twice. I just finished reading a book for the third time. But then I often do things that don’t make much sense.
The book just read for the third time was Dashiell Hammett’s “The Maltese Falcon.”
I love the names of Hammett’s characters: Sam Spade, a great name for a private detective, played in the movie by Humphrey Bogart. And there’s Joel Cairo, a sneaky thief played by Peter Lorre, and Caspar Gutman, the mastermind played by Sydney Greenstreet, and Brigid O’Shaughnessy, the femme fatale, played by Mary Astor.
If you think reading Hammett’s book twice doesn’t make much sense, I had better not tell you how many times I’ve seen the movie, which was based on the book.
There were great lines in the book and movie. I even remember a few.
Joel Cairo: “You always have a very smooth explanation.”
Sam Spade: “What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?”
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Sam Spade: “Haven’t you tried to buy my loyalty with money and nothing else?”
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Brigid O’Shaughnessy: “What else is there I can buy you with?”
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Caspar Gutman: “The best goodbyes are short. Adieu.”
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The best lines, of course, come out of Sam Spade’s mouth, including these:
“You don’t have to trust me as long as you can persuade me to trust you.”
“I don’t mind a reasonable amount of trouble.”
“Don’t be too sure I’m crooked as I’m supposed to be.”
“When a man’s partner is killed, he’s supposed to do something about it.”
And at the end of the movie police Detective Tom Polhaus, played by Ward Bond, picks up the solid gold falcon, which is painted black, and says to Sam Spade, “Heavy. What is it?”
Spade says, “The stuff that dreams are made of.”
Now that I’ve convinced you of my love of “The Maltese Falcon” and my ability to do things that don’t make much sense, I will tell you of my long ago time in San Francisco.
I followed Sam Spade’s steps through San Francisco, including to Burritt Alley, where Spade’s partner was shot and killed. This sign marks the spot:
ON APPROXIMATELY THIS SPOT, MILES ARCHER, PARTNER OF SAM SPADE, WAS DONE IN BY BRIGID O’SHAUGHNESSY.”
I also went to 111 Sutter Street. According to the book, Sam Spade and Miles Archer had their office there. A nice guard at the building said he didn’t know nothing about nothing and asked me to leave. He was polite, though.
And I had dinner where Sam Spade was a regular, John’s Grill, a restaurant on Ellis Street. Printed on the outside awning was “Home of the Maltese Falcon.”
At John’s Grill, they still serve pork chops, baked potato and sliced tomatoes, which is what Sam Spade always ordered.
There is a picture of Hammett on the wall and his biography is on the menu. There are, of course, pictures of all the actors in “The Maltese Falcon” and if you’d like an adult beverage on a Sunday morning, or any other time, you can order a Bloody Brigid.
I had several, which caused me to do several other things that didn’t make much sense.
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