JOE KELLY
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Column for 3.28.12
An interesting e-mail arrived last week. It began with a question.
“Do you remember once writing the column ‘You’re Probably From Boonville, NY, if...,’ which was followed by a list of things that people from Boonville would associate themselves with? My purpose in writing to you is to get permission to use some of that column on a T-shirt, which I would sell at places such as the Boonville Fair and Woodsmen’s Field Days.”
I haven’t responded to the e-mail yet, but when I do it will be along these lines:
Yes, I remember the column. Actually, I remember every column I’ve ever written, although there are more than a few I’ve tried to forget. I’ve never had one of my columns put on a T-shirt, but that might be fun. If, for example, a beautiful woman were to be walking up Schuyler Street in the summer wearing a T-shirt with my column on it, I could point with pride and say, “That’s mine.”
The words, that is, not the woman.
In any event, the column in question appeared in the Boonville Herald during the second week of March of 2007. I know because I just looked it up
The reason I wrote that column was because of Boonville’s own Larry Myers, who has a good sense of humor and who is quite knowledgeable about local history, postcards, music and aviation.
In fact, long ago he was a flight instructor and taught me how to fly, quite an accomplishment. For Larry that is. How he calmly and patiently sat there in the right seat with nervous me in the left seat learning to fly is the stuff that makes legends out of flight instructors.
Anyway, back in 2007, on a day when I hadn’t smiled all day, Larry sent me a list of Boonville truisms, which made me smile. Here are just a few of them:
You’re probably from Boonville, NY, if:
Without exception, every day you talk about the weather.
People who have been here less than 15 years are ‘new-comers.’
You know Slim hasn’t owned “Slim’s” for decades.
You remember the Union Block next to the Franjo (and know what the Franjo was).
When outside of Boonville in the summer, people ask you if the snow is gone up there yet.
You know the rest of the name of “The Boonville Herald and The ..........”
Larry concluded the long ago list he sent to me with this: “Joe, you’ll probably be able to add some good ones.”
I’m not sure how good they were, but the ones I added included these:
You’re probably from Boonville if…
You are accustomed to awakening at 4 a.m. to the gentle sound of a snowplow blade hitting your mailbox.
You use your pellet stove more than your a/c.
You enjoy winter jokes such as: How many people does it take to drive a car in February? Answer, five. One to steer, three to push and one to yell, “Try rocking it.”
You brag to people about being on Municipal Power.
You don’t consider Domino’s or Pizza Hut to be real pizza.
You consider Oneonta to be “downstate.”
To get a good viewing spot, you park your pickup on Main Street at 4 a.m. on the day of the Woodsmen’s Parade.
You don’t signal turns because everyone knows where you are going.
Going to Utica means going to the big city.
You know what 4-H and FFA stand for.
You call the wrong number but happen to know the person and get into a conversation.
It’s difficult to get your exercise by walking around the village because of all the people who stop and offer you a ride.
There were more on my list but you get the idea.
I intend to give the T-shirt entrepreneur permission to use my list. Larry will have to speak for himself.
Oh, I just thought of one more: You know you’re from Boonville if you know the Moose isn’t just an animal.
If I can come up with another 70 or so of those, I’ll have myself another column and maybe my entrepreneurial friend will have another T-shirt.
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