JOE KELLY
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Column for 3.21.12
The following is a list of items that caught my attention to the point that I made note of them. Alas, I couldn’t figure out how to write an entire column about any of these items.
But listed together, a column the items do make.
Item - When it comes to music, some people have absolutely no sense of rhythm. At a recent musical performance of “Jersey Boys” at Proctor’s Theater in Schenectady, the gentleman seated in front of me couldn’t clap in snyc with the rest of the audience. He was always a beat off.
Finally, he just stopped trying. “Jersey Boys” is the story of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons.
Item - Some people have cute messages on their telephone answering machines. Mine is a standard greeting. I’m not a fan of cute. I do, however, like creativity and the message on a friend’s home telephone.
“Hi, this is John. I’ll return your phone call if you can answer the following question.” John then asks a question such as who won the Rose Bowl in 1992 or who is the all-time American League batting champion. I never know the answers to the questions, but John, a longtime sports writer for the Observer-Dispatch, still calls me back.
Item - You can tell how much someone likes a song by how high they crank the volume. Not everybody who rides in my car shares my musical taste.
Item - I see more and more people using hand sanitizer. Nobody I know uses it more than me. I see more and more hand sanitizer machines in public places such as schools, hospitals, theaters and markets. This is a great trend.
Item - Pictures of motels on websites and in brochures always make the place look better than it actually is.
Item - The Italians have a phrase which I can’t pronounce or write in that language but I wish I could. “This too shall pass.” That’s the truth no matter what your nationality.
Item - March Madness has been around for a long time. This year, though, it seems much more popular than ever before. Maybe that’s because Syracuse University has a chance to get into the Elite 8 and even the Final Four. I believe SU can go all the way, even without Fab Melo.
Item - I would not make a good judge. When I see police officers escorting someone in handcuffs into or out of a courthouse, I’m sure the person in custody is guilty. If I was ever in that person’s position, I would hope people such as me would remember “innocent until proven guilty.”
Item - Some waiters and waitresses have the bad habit of saying, “Need any change,” when you hand them cash along with the bill. I feel like saying, “Yes, change would be good since I gave you two $20s for a bill that is $23.”
Item - Is there really that much difference between a $10 bottle of wine and a $100 bottle of wine? I can’t tell and I am suspicious of people who claim they can.
Item - Machines don’t make people good writers but it is certainly easier to write on a modern computer than it was on a manual typewriter.
Item - If there is one thing we can all get together on and complain about it is the cost of a beer and a hot dog at a major league sporting event. Pizza served at sporting events is sometimes OK, but it is never good.
Item - Sports announcers are like waiters and waitresses. A bad one can ruin a good meal or game.
Item - There are many, many things in life I can’t do well, including knotting a necktie and wrapping presents. At this point in my life, I have no intention of learning.
Item - Throwing out books, even bad books, is a difficult thing for many of us to do.
Item - Palmer Method was a style of penmanship that was once taught to people in elementary school. People with illegible handwriting never took Palmer Method.
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