JOE KELLY
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Column for 3.16.11
George Capron, of WBRV fame, gave me a list of items with this headline: “You Know You Are An Aging Radio DJ When...
George’s three page list included these six items:
You know you are an aging radio DJ when...
• You still refer to CDs as “records.”
• You were playing Elvis hits when he was still alive.
• You used to smoke in the radio station and nobody cared.
• Radio stations had enough on-air talent to field a softball team.
• Somebody would say, “You have a face for radio,” and it was still funny.
• You have a couple of old transistor radios around the house with corroded batteries in them.
George remembers all those things, of course, and thus qualifies as an aging DJ. Yours truly is an aging newspaper writer.
You know you are an aging newspaper writer when you can remember when...
• The only color in the newspaper was in the comics section.
• “Cut” was done with scissors, “paste” was done with glue and “copy” was done with carbon paper.
• State, national and international news arrived in the newsroom via teletype machines, not computers.
• Female reporters worked only in the newspaper’s “LIfestyle” section.
• Editors actually wore green eyeshades.
• The country was filled with afternoon newspapers.
• Each reporter’s desk had an overflowing ashtray.
• A female editor was a rare thing, and a female publisher was unheard of.
• Dick Tracy, Steve Canyon, Li’l Abner, Dagwood and Terry and the Pirates were household names.
• Photographers used cameras with flashbulbs.
George and I aren’t the only ones getting old. I don’t want you to feel left out.
You know you are getting old if...
• You flew on Mohawk Airlines.
• Your back goes out more than you.
• Your “Happy Hour” is a 60 minute nap.
• You know who Annette Funicello is.
• You can name other Musketeers.
• You are on a first name basis with your pharmacist.
• You know that a “church key” doesn’t necessarily mean something that unlocks the door at a place of worship.
• You once paid 25 cents for a McDonald’s hamburger and 10 cents for the fries.
• American Bandstand was once one of your favorite shows.
• You once put a quarter in a vending machine and got a Royal Crown or Royal Palm soda in a glass bottle.
• You once got your milk from a fellow dressed in white who delivered it to your door.
• You watched Jerry Fiore or Lyle Bosley on WKTV news.
• You refused to buy something unless they gave you S&H Green Stamps in return.
• You once answered the door and found a Fuller Brush man or an encyclopedia salesmen standing there.
• You spent Saturday afternoon at the movies and for 25 cents got two features, one cartoon and a newsreel. But under no conditions were you allowed to bring a soda back to your seat.
• You first saw the Beatles when they appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show.
• You wore Keds or P.F. Flyers and weren’t allowed in the school gym without sneakers and had to wear your gym uniform.
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