JOE KELLY
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Column for 2.8.12
My Nike gloves have been missing for three months. This isn’t the first time I’ve lost gloves. Actually, I’m quite good at losing gloves.
What has made this recent loss so irritating is that I had worn these Nike gloves a total of two times. Over the years I’ve lost more gloves than I can remember, but losing a pair after having them on my hands twice - three times if you count when I tried them on in the store - is a new record.
What made the situation even more irritating is that the Nike gloves, which are made for runners and walkers, fit perfectly. I seldom get a perfect fit in anything.
The Nike gloves were snug but not tight. They kept my hands warm, but were thin enough to pick up a coin. This style of Nike gloves has Spandex in the material, which hugs the wrist and keeps out the cold.
I even like the orange and gray color. And there’s a compartment in the palm of each glove to securely place a car or house key when you go out running or walking. I never used the key compartment but might have if I hadn’t lost the gloves three months ago after wearing them but twice.
I liked the price, too, $20 on sale.
The only thing I didn’t like about the gloves is that they were made in China. But if I stopped wearing things made in China, Vietnam, Bangladesh or Pakistan, I wouldn’t have any clothes.
Anyway, I searched everywhere for those Nike gloves. I turned the house upside down. In the process I found a key that opens I’m not sure what, a single sock, a book I had been looking for, a pad with notes so important I hadn’t realized I had lost them, but no Nike gloves.
I searched the car not once, not twice but three times. I found two quarters, a dime and four pennies, as well as two pens, an open pack of Life Savers, a small plastic container of hand sanitizer, and a bank deposit slip, but no Nike gloves.
I checked the pockets of every coat in the closet and came away loose change, Kleenex and a pen.
I checked the duffle bag I take to the gym and suitcases I take on vacation. Nothing.
I called places I frequent. Two places had gloves in their lost and found but not Nike gloves. One place had a scarf in need of an owner, but all four of my scarfs are accounted for.
It isn’t like I don’t have other gloves to wear. I’ve got a green pair but they don’t fit well and they are ugly.
I’ve got two pair of mittens but I never use them. It is difficult to do anything with your fingers while wearing mittens.
I’ve got a pair of gloves that look nice but are of a material that doesn’t keep my hands warm.
And I have the left hand of an expensive pair of leather gloves. I haven’t seen the right side since two winters ago. But I can’t bring myself to get rid of the left half for fear of one day finding the right. Throwing away the left and then finding the right would make me as irritated as losing my Nike gloves.
Which brings me to the end of the story. On the way out to the car this morning it was so warm I took off my green gloves - the ugly ones - and stuck them in my jacket’s breast pocket, a pocket I’ve never used.
I take that back. I used that pocket just once before. Three months ago.
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