JOE KELLY                     
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Column for 2.15.12
While on Route 12, on the way to work this morning, I looked over at the car in the other lane. I should have taken a picture.

The car was being driven by a lady, eyes straight ahead. The make of the dark colored car escaped my attention. It was early and I was half awake, which is why I didnít think fast enough to take a picture.

What didnít escape my attention was the carís vanity license plate, which was PARADOX.

My first thought was that the carís owner was someone who thought she fit the dictionary definition of paradox, which is this: ďthe paradox of war is that you have to kill people in order to stop people from killing each other, contradiction, contradiction in terms, self-contradiction, inconsistency, incongruity; oxymoron; conflict, anomaly; enigma, puzzle, mystery, conundrum.Ē

But as I headed north, I changed my mind. I donít think the driver of the car was describing herself. I think the driver of the car is a doctor and Iíll bet her significant other is also a doctor. In other words, a pair of doctors, PARADOX. Cute.

Over the years Iíve written more than a few columns about vanity plates. One of my favorites is U R NXT, a Kentucky license plate on a Cadillac. What makes me love this plate is that the Cadillac is a hearse.

Another favorite is REDHARE. What makes this Vermont plate a good one is that it is affixed to a red Volkswagen Rabbit. And Iím betting that the car is driven by a woman with, you got it, red hair.

Some vanity plates offer hints to what the driver does for a living. Iíll bet the ranch that the driver with the Maryland plates of ALLRIZE is a judge and that person driving around in Virginia with SAY WHEN license plates works in a coffee shop or does something involving pouring.

Speaking of Virginia, there is a MEEOWH plate. That has to be a cat lover or maybe an animal doctor specializing in cats.

Thereís a New York plate of 1MPG. What makes that plate funny is that it is on a Hummer, a vehicle not known for good gas mileage.

I like this Virginia plate because it carries a positive message: YS U CAN.

But if we canít, thereís this advice on a Virginia plate: TRY WINE.

Political messages can sometimes get on vanity plates. A good example is on these Maryland plates: DPORTEM.

Star Wars, the movie, has generated many vanity plates, including these: OB1KNBE and 1TRUJEDI, both belonging to New York State drivers; YODA LVS in Virginia; LORDVDR in Michigan; 4RCEBWU in California; and JEDI MOM in Pennsylvania.

Iím assuming that the owner of the following license plate is a man and that he is divorced. I canít think of another reason to have D WIFED as a license plate.

We all know someone who is always running late. In Vermont the appropriate plate is taken but maybe L8ASUSL is available in New York. If itís taken, try IAMLATE, which is on a plate in West Virginia.

Being on time isnít a priority for the New Yorker with this plate: CHILL NN.

Here are a few more vanity plates. Make of them what you will: THE SPY, New Mexico; PMS24-7, Oregon; MS POO, California.

And a plate that would be good for someone such as me who enjoys vanity plates would be this one: VNTYPL8.

Alas, someone in New York State already has it.