June 18, 2008

In “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly,” Clint Eastwood, the Good, who played the role of “Blondie,” turns to Eli Wallach, the Ugly, who played “Tuco,” and says this: “There are two kinds of people, those with loaded guns and those who dig.” Blondie had the gun so Tuco dug.

The “two kinds of people” phrase pops up often in movies, books and life. I happen to believe there are two kinds of people in this world, but as author Robert Benchley wrote, “There are two kinds of people, those who believe there are two kinds of people and those who don’t.”

If you believe there are two kinds of people in this world of ours, read on. If not, read something else on this page. As an editor at the Observer-Dispatch once told me, “There are two kinds of people, those who like Joe Kelly columns and those who don’t.”

What follows are “two kinds of people” situations I’ve watched, read and observed.

There are two kinds of people, those who do all the work and those who take all the credit.

There are two kinds of people, those who run the Boilermaker and those who want to.

There are two kinds of people, those who cry and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people, those who look good in blue jeans and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people, the Irish and those who wish they were.  (Irish is the nationality I’ve most often heard the phrase applied to, but I’ve also heard it used with Italians.)

There are two kinds of people, those who get tattoos and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people, those who smoke and those who wish they could quit.

There are two kinds of people, those who get upset at the way the U.S. government treats terrorists at Guantanamo and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people, those who love Barry Manilow and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people, those with medical problems and those who will eventually have them.

There are two kinds of people, those who spend time surfing the web and those who don’t know what that means.

There are two kinds of people, those who want to stay at the party and those who can’t wait to go.

There are two kinds of people, those who are Marines and those who wish they were.

There are two kinds of people, those who wear hats in winter and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people, those who rent and those who own.

There are two kinds of people, those who are just like me and those who are jerks.

There are two kinds of people, those who pray and those who wish.

There are two kinds of people, those who wear suits and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people, those who load the dishwasher properly and those who don’t.

There are two kinds of people, those who are good at English and those who ain’t.

A final thought. For the record, “The Bad” was “Angel Eyes” and he was played by Lee Van Cleef, who was in a couple of Clint Eastwood movies.

There are two kinds of people, those who love Clint Eastwood movies and those who don’t.


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Joe Kelly is the editor and publisher of The Boonville Herald & Adirondack Tourist and THE GRIFF.