March 19, 2008

We have a new governor. He was sworn into office this past Monday, which was St. Patrick’s Day. This might be a good omen.

David Paterson has an opportunity to do good, but then so did Eliot Spitzer. We voters are used to being disappointed.

But hope, as they say, springs eternal. Some advice for David Paterson:

Don’t be a bully or a “(expletive deleted) steamroller.” We had one of those as governor and you see what happened to him. What goes around comes around.

Speaking of Spitzer, please demand that he pay us back for that trip to Washington, D.C. He may have paid for Kristen out of his pocket, but the cost of the trip came out of ours. Many of us would like a refund.

As long as I’m giving financial advice, while you are working on this year’s budget, please remember that the money you are spending doesn’t belong to you.

Don’t support legal rights for illegal aliens. Your honeymoon period with New Yorkers will end quickly enough without doing that.

Every now and then go unannounced and without fanfare to a neighborhood bar. This will keep you grounded. I know a couple of good places in Albany and many more in Oneida County, so don’t be afraid to ask me for directions.

Remember you aren’t as good as the people around you say or as bad as your critics claim.

Be careful of what you say on the telephone. Be even more careful of what you write in e-mails.

Don’t ever take advice from Eliot Spitzer. I wouldn’t be afraid to listen to Silda, though. And I wouldn’t be afraid to take advice from Attorney General Andrew Cuomo. I believe him to be honest and honorable. Just keep in mind that he’d like your new job.

Be suspicious of every special interest group you meet with. By the way, I liked your response to that reporter who asked if you had ever been with a prostitute. “Only lobbyists,” was witty.

Come to Oneida County. Often. New York State doesn’t end at the Tappan Zee Bridge.

Be wary of reporters. They will build you up and then take you down. The higher the high the lower the low.

Remember that nobody has ever complained about a speech being too short.

Don’t be afraid to sleep in on Sundays. Speaking of which, spend more than a few nights in the Governor’s Mansion in Albany, which is the capital, not New York City, as some governors have believed.

Watch your mouth. The governor before you had a foul one. We expect better from elected officials.

If you don’t know already, find out what the state bird is, the state flower, the state fish, and the state animal and all the rest of those state things. One of these days a pesky reporter will ask, and it will be embarrassing if you don’t know.

And if you ever screw up - literally or figuratively - please leave your wife out of it. If I never see another woman looking like Mrs. Spitzer looked, it will be too soon.

Good luck, governor. You’ll need all of that you can get.


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Joe Kelly is the editor and publisher of The Boonville Herald & Adirondack Tourist and THE GRIFF.