May 30, 2007

Judging from the mail, I’m not the only one who collects bumper sticker
sayings. Since the publication of last week’s offering, in which I listed some of
the bumper stickers in my file, several people have provided me with their
favorites.
Not all the bumper stickers mailed or e-mailed to me during the past week
are, ah, how should I say this, not all of them are suitable for a family
newspaper. For that matter, they aren’t suitable for car bumpers.
But most of them are okay and here they are:

Land Of The Free Because Of The Brave
Procrastinate Later
Disco Still Sucks
Honk If You’re Illiterate
A Clean Car Is A Sign Of A Sick Mind
America - Love It Or Leave It
You’re Unique - Just Like Everybody Else
Cancer Cures Smoking
A Day Without Sunshine Is Like Night
Do You Follow Jesus This Close?
Don’t Laugh, It’s Paid For
Elvis Has Left The Planet
I Love Nonverbal Communication
I’d Rather Be Fishing
Got Milk?
Gun Control Means A Steady Hand
I Wish I Was Barbie - She Has Everything
Hang Up & Drive
Why Be Normal?
Got Brains?
You Live In America Now So Speak Spanish
I Hate Bumper Stickers
Keep Honking I’m Reloading
Mean People Suck
Nuke The Whales
I’m Out On A Day Pass
Short Chicks Rock
Life Is A Terminal Disease
Whatever!
No Prohibiting Allowed
Pay Good Teachers Good Money
Protected By Smith & Wesson
Caution: I Drive Like You
Honk If Parts Fall Off
Thank A Veteran

This one I had to think about for a second: What Would Scooby Do?

To all who sent in bumper stickers, thank you. It enabled me to write a fast
column and get out of the office early on the beginning of Memorial Day
weekend. But please, no more until the beginning of next summer.

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Joe Kelly is the editor and publisher of The Boonville Herald & Adirondack Tourist and THE GRIFF.